The African bridal shower.

It is a practice rumored to have began as early as the 16th century in Europe, according to my findings. At some point, its purpose was to help raise dowry for the bride to pay and marry the man of her choice. Friends and relatives would bring gifts to the shower and that helped augment the dowry savings. Today, it is widespread the world over and its activities vary depending on the geography of the people. In Southern African states, mainly Zambia, Zimbabwe, South Africa and Malawi, it is called the Kitchen Party. The bridal shower is more of a ritual than it is a party, especially an Afro-bridal shower. Recently, I had the priviledge to get the action of one because it was in my family, a cousin, is about to be betrothed to the one she chose to spend the rest of her life with. However I did not get the complete action because an African bridal experience is only reserved for women, just as the name says. Men are not allowed whatsoever at this occasional where I believe secrets of womenhood are passed down from one generation to another. My cousin left this party, along with a multitude of the other girls who graced it, enriched with sacred knowledge that is only revealed in action to their chosen ones.

At such meetings, there is usually a mixture of emotions, as I observed. Some women were inundated, so in case to be able to tell the things they would not ordinarily blurt out, they would be normally qualified profanities, but hold on, they are not. If they can make movies of naked people and others involved in immoral acts, then this would be nothing but concerned and happy elders advising their womenfolk on how to keep a happy home. They touched on every aspect of the home, from the kitchen to the bathroom, through the hallways to the living rooms, to the main rooms, those of bed where one lady said all issues are resolved, she even likened it to the UN headquarters. After every heavy point was dropped, other women would ululate, rise and do short little dances, skipping from side to side in graceful swoons. Like I said, no man was present and I was not, only overheard and it is taboo to even write this down, but my pen compelled me, so blame the pen. This is to fellow men, to know that you have to insist on a bridal shower when your wife is about to be married to you because it is at this event where the richness of our history is poured from the old casks into younger and fresher casks for your thirst's quenching. Stay on brothers, I still have to let you in on a little secret of women, if I am going to be brave enough to stand the repercussions.

Well, everything in there is practical by the way, there is use of a lot of illustrations, enactments of common household scenes so that the bride will not find an excuse if they are rated low by their husbands and am not saying that you gentle men have to rate your gentle-women, but to treat them with respect and only raise your expectations because if you see a groom coming out of the shower, she is well cooked, ready and palatable like that beef torso that was on the rotisserie stick stuffed with spices and delicacies that has shimmered over the coals for a good amount of time now. Truth be told, I know I was not allowed an no male will ever be let into one of these fratenity conversationals, I greatly admire the guts and the selflessness of the culture of my people, how it has been blended into the mainstream pop culture to come up with a replica of our past crystalized and stored in the core of our very beings, kudos to all the aunts who prepared my cousin for a beautiful journey that lies ahead of her, to her I say, go for it, you know you are ready hahahahahahaha!